Dylan“I’m a technology project manager”
“I’m an IT consultant”
“I work in IT”
Phrases I’ve used in countless conversations meeting someone new where the question of “so, what do you do?” enters during a pause. I’ve been thinking about writing this “article” for months. I’ve made deadlines for myself and missed them. I’ve set deadlines with my coach and missed them. There is something truly terrifying about publicly stating that you no longer get any sense of fulfilment out of your chosen profession. Something you worked towards and honed as a craft for 25 years. In the end this won’t be as polished as I would like but it will get out there and hopefully resonate with others who are in my position and, in some small way, help them.
I have worked in technology in some form or another since the late 90s. I’ve been a unix admin, a help desk consultant, a solution architect, a project/program manager, a professional services director responsible for product lines in North America and Globally and the general manager of a small systems integrator. Through all of that I eventually went out on my own about 7 years ago and settled into the role of the PM/IT independent consultant but somewhere over the last few years I lost the passion for the work. I can do it and, although some may disagree, I think I’m pretty good at it. This has left me with a choice I’ve struggled with since just before the pandemic:
What do I do?
I can continue to find work and deliver projects and make a good living. I could probably do that without issue until that magical and undetermined date of retirement.
OR
I can throw caution to the wind (as a project manager I’m risk averse by nature, training and experience) and find my calling. The new passion, the life purpose that I can see me doing without counting down the time until retirement.
Before I go into any real detail on my choice and thoughts on making that choice, I should probably elaborate that at 40 years old I also decided I wanted more and embarked on an ambitious 3.5-year journey to obtain an MBA. I did succeed and it was a valuable experience in many ways but, as an independent consultant doing IT PM work, nobody really cared. I did accomplish it, and nobody can take that away from me but it didn’t move the fulfilment needle at all.
Okay, back to the question at hand…what do I do? Well, as part of a leadership program I did through the Project Management Institute I was exposed briefly to coaching and I found the concept interesting, but I was also left with the question of “how does someone do that?”. Fast forward a few years and through a bit of conversation with an executive coach I discovered the world of Co-Active Coaching and the Co-Active Training Institute. It is a big departure from where I have spent most of my career, but it was interesting so in the fall of 2021 I enrolled in the fundamentals course. I figured that the worst case in it was that I’d get some new skills but discover it wasn’t for me. Somewhat to my surprise I enjoyed it and after mulling it over for a month enrolled in the remaining 4 courses. Roll ahead what is now 9 months. I’ve completed 3 courses and due to summer and some family issues I deferred the other two and will be complete in January 2023. After that I will immediately roll into the certification program which will get me to the point of being Co-Active certified and meet the requirements of obtaining an ICF certification.
Over the spring and into the summer I did have a series of coaching clients and I know they did obtain some value out of the experience I in turn I honed my skills and did some of the most personally rewarding work I have done in years. This is what I want to do and terrified as I am of making the change and stepping away from what I’ve known for more than half my life it is something I’m going to do. I could try and fail and go back to project management or I could try and succeed. I’ll never know unless I try.
So, if you’ve managed to read this far you are probably wondering why I’m telling essentially anyone who wants to read it all of this. I guess I’m trying to say that sometimes we all feel trapped; We all have moments of doubt, and we all have hard choices to make throughout our lives and careers. Sometimes we need to embrace the uncertainty and dive into the unknown. It may not turn out as great as you expect it, but it will also VERY rarely turn out as bad as you’ve thought it could in your head. Embrace the change, find your passion and try. I’ve always had a lot of words, so this clearly has been my 900-word way of saying that the next time I’m in that new person conversation and I’m asked, “What do you do?” My response will be
“I am a coach”
Although the point of this has not been to solicit clients, I am looking for a small number at this time so drop me a note if you may be interested.
